So I have daddy issues, doesn't everyone?

Not to sound like a whiny brat, but the holidays can be really tough for me sometimes.  Not in a jump off the roof type of tough just in a fuck this shit it is over type of tough. A lot has to with the fact that I am not close with my family (other than you sister moon).  So, I feel like I am constantly having to explain why I am not going anywhere close to my hometown. Which leads to me have to explain why, which leads to me having to explain the awkward relationship I have with my dad or with my grandparents feelings getting hurt if I am not honest about why I am staying up here.

The last thing that I want is to hurt them, they have been nothing but great to me. I wish that I could somehow get them to see that going back to McPherson forces me to face a lot of issues that I am conveniently able to avoid if I stay in the comfort of KC.  It's not that I don't love them, I do, it's just that I love my mental health more.

Someday I would like to forgive my dad for allowing Tyler, Spring and I to hurt so much and for choosing my stepmother over us, but he would actually have to show remorse for me to do that. Until that happens, I am staying right here.

Sorry for the unusually depressing tone of this blog. Come back to tomorrow for more of my usual nonsense. Just to lighten the mood, I included a pretty sweet picture of me and my mom from Christmas circa 1989

In case you are wondering, yes I am wearing a dress vest.